You have a right to pain

A YouTube video posted on April 10 argues that other people can spare you information, but they cannot spare you the lesson of living through your own bad call. The video is titled “Make your own mistakes: you have a right to your pain,” and it was uploaded by Orion Taraban’s PsycHacks channel on April 10, 2026. (youtube.com) Taraban’s core claim is blunt: judgment is not downloaded from books, influencers, or advice threads. He says lived experience is what turns abstract warnings into usable wisdom. (youtube.com) He frames that idea through Paulo Coelho’s novel *The Alchemist*, which follows a shepherd who keeps moving toward treasure even after being robbed, tricked, and delayed. The point of using that story is that the ending only means something because the character has already paid for it in mistakes. (youtube.com) That argument lands in a culture that has spent years trying to remove friction from ordinary life. A long run of workplace writing on psychological safety says people learn faster when they can speak up and make moderate risks without being punished for every error. (hbr.org) That does not mean “let people crash into walls.” Harvard Business Review’s guidance is almost the opposite: set a clear standard, avoid perfectionism, and give people room to make mistakes without turning every miss into blame. (hbr.org) The same tension shows up outside work. Psychology writing on overprotective parenting has warned for years that constant intervention can produce dependency and lower resilience, because children never get enough unscripted reps handling discomfort on their own. (psychologytoday.com) That is why the video reads like a pushback against a certain style of wellness culture. If every hard feeling is treated like a hazard to be eliminated, sadness starts to look like a system failure instead of one of the ways people update their map of the world. (youtube.com; psychologytoday.com) In teams, the practical version is bounded ownership. Give someone a real decision with a real downside small enough to survive, and they build judgment the way a driver learns parking by scraping a curb once, not by reading a perfect manual. (hbr.org; hbr.org) The video is only a few minutes long, but it taps a much larger argument about adulthood. Advice can point at the stove, but for a lot of people the lasting lesson still arrives when they touch the heat themselves and remember it next time. (youtube.com)